Tuesday, July 7, 2020

May 21, 2020

Why am I so pissed and what the fuck can I do about it? (What a difference a couple of days make.)

Im not sure what is pissing me off more right now.  Is it the lack of compasiion or empathy for fellow Americans, humans, co-workers?  Or is it the idea that economy is more important than the citizenry, money more important than people or their health?  Or is it this idea is an employee's worth is only their billable/punchable hours of evidenced work?  Tell the "non-essential" workers to stay home and then don't pay them, or lay them off before say, the CEO taking a cut or the corporate jet going up for sale?   I'm sure it's all compounded by being quarantined in my apartment with my loved ones, not going outside for more than a grocery or post office run.  No park. No hanging with family and friends.  Or is it just the ache that's been in my shoulder this week.

And what to do about it.  What do I do with the anger?  Where do I channel it?  Is there some new place in the new even more internet based world for me to find a niche for activism? or for employment?

May 17, 2020

More than two months in our voluntary self stay at home family quarantine.

So many topics run through my head so often that it is almost overwhelming to write.  The one on top of all else is the opening of parts of my State and New ark right next store.  There are States like Fla.  and others that barely closed t all.  There people showing up with flames throwers and rocket launchers in Michigan protesting the sty at home.  These armed thugs stormed the state house with out consequence.  So there's a topic. Peaceful protesters of things like climate change get zip tied and arrested.  Armed storming of a governement and the president calls you "good people".

But regions of New York are opening this week, as well as other states and their tourist destinations.  The North east regional "authority" (I guess) of States that formed because of the Federal government was derelict in its responsibility to the safety of American citizens, have announce that State beaches will be open on Memorial Day.  The President in April: "I take no responsibility at all for it."

So where does that leave us.  We have been fairly strictly self enforcing our stay home stay safe orders.  Going out only for infrequent walks and grocery and post office trips.  We actually have started to take our now 9 Month + old to the park.  I've actually dreamed about her crawling in grass, and virus be damned, she did it twice this week at a little park down the street.  Other people were there, but in masks and everyone was very respectful of keeping a 6 feet "social" distance.  I didn't get too deep into thinking what or who touched the grass before us, etc.  That's a scary rabbit hole I find in my mind from time to time.

The data will come in in about two weeks on how the openings effect the spread of the Virus.  The rule of thumb is it takes about a two weeks to show symptoms and for the virus to take hold from point of contact.  Reports from the Jersey Shore already show that many are not wearing masks or properly distancing which is cause for much consternation and anger in those who have been abiding by the rules and flattening this curve.  Reminder New York City has been shut down for two months.  Broadway, concerts, sporting events, bars, restaurants, stores, Closed for two months.  The curve of Virus hasn't just flattened itself.

I'm not writing this as another place to express my anger at the president, but his "mission accomplished" like banners hung on Our White House reading that we're the best at testing is a blatant falsehood and misrepresentation of facts as is his "America is Back". He is dangerous.  If this opening leads to spikes and outbreaks, some scientists predicting they will be even worse than the last and CURRENT ones.  The responsibility and deaths fall firmly on his comb covered head.

There is a lot of talk about the politicization of the Virus.  I would say it is science that has been politicized.  Since climate change was called global warming there have been deniers of science based on studies funded by industries whose narrative and cash flow are at odds with the science coming out.  Climate science deniers are not alone.  Reproductive science and health have also been politicized.  One to drive a wedge in the American Citizenry to hide and attach other agendas to an American woman's choice as to what to do with her life and body.  Denial of health science is too fold.  1. to lead to every American's ind=surance company over paying for every pill and medicine over prescribed under the sun and 2. the belief that all medicine is for the big bad drug companies and if we just go outside and take oregano oils, etc. and eat plants we won't need medicine. Both of these are over simplifications, but its how they boil down to me.  There's also the televangelists filling their coffers by "blowing the virus away with god's breath".  This brings us to another topic.

In this age of social media, which has been vaulted into even newer heights through this pandemic, even one not only has an opinion, but they act as though they are an expert.  Research consisting of searching google and youtube for links that follow/dictate their narrative. The denial of decades if not a century in studying viruses and disease has been thrown out the window by some for the doctor that was on Oprah's opinion.  This is not to say they are using the presidents' "it will be down to zero" from 15 cases in February.  Their message is more, the elderly and sick dying be damned, we should go outside and "build up our immune system" like there would be someway to build it up for a virus that got here months ago.  They say go out in the sun, like if someone has the virus the sun will go into their body and kill it.  Experts have been systematically ignored in a world.  The president's former campaign manager has said "throw as much shit into the system as you can". and then people won't know what to believe and won't believe anything.  It is working.  People equate web sites that, like this one are straight opinion of the author and equate it with journalists who vet stories, scientific journals who follow the scientific method and require peer review, experimentation and hard data to prove hypotheses.

The last topic I've been thinking a lot about is this medium I am talking to you through.  The internet and it's social media spawn.  I don't think either are good for us, especially the way they are currently being used and effectively weaponized, but ethereality is they will both be in our lives as long as the power is on and we are "living" a greater portion of our lives in them. Zoom, Tables, Teams, Hang outs meetings.  I watched three different live streams last night and President Barack Obama's virtual commencement speech to the Nation.

Everything points to what will happen next, but is it "next" if we are still under this Virus's thumb.  Some, like the president, are taking a defiant tone with the virus as if it somehow operates like a person or "enemy".  This guy more than most even needs a "boogeyman". The Virus however doesn't give a shit about rhetoric or politics.  It spreads.  It mutates.  It continues to kill.  I guess by Memorial Day, a fitting holiday, we will see if we are truly on the other side and on our way out of this predicament.  Hopefully if we are, there are enough scientists, despite the naysayers and willfully ignorant working on it before it springs up again, over the next few months, the next flu season, and beyond.

Sunday, April 12, 2020

My attitude has somewhat changed...

Easter Sunday. April 12th 1:15pm. Start of Week 4 of voluntary family quarantine.
532,339 cases of the coronavirus, Covid-19 in the United States of America.  21,418 Deaths.  2,074 American Deaths were reported on Friday April 10th alone 783 Deaths of those occurred in the State of New York.

My attitude has somewhat changed to an eery calm.  

Over the past week or so I've kind of separated a bit from the obsessive following of the staggering daily numbers or the anger that iT's voice brings out, as the salesman in chief sells his snake oil cures and belches his public endangering happy talk.....  Breath in for 4.... Hold for 7....... Exhale for 8........  Instead I find myself grateful. Grateful for having a job that I can work from home, and Most grateful for the time I get to spend with my wife and baby.

I've been cooking a lot.  Taking pictures of everything, especially the baby (standing, eating, crawling, smiling, making a face....). I started to work on some video. Been Zooming, FaceTiming and Facebook living with family and friends.  The Zoom has been having security problems.  Virtual meetings are getting "porn bombed".  Crazy.  Beastiality popping up at Board meetings.  It'd be funny if it weren't so sad. How long will we be in this weird virtual reality?  I guess that's it.  It feels like waiting.  Somehow I feel less anxious now that the "apex" for our area may be here.  I would think I would be more anxious being we may be currently in the worst of it.  251 deaths in the State of New Jersey on April 20th alone.  783 in the State of New York on the same day. But the news of the rate of new cases going down gives me almost a feeling of a light at the end of the tunnel.  

If the current projection based on the current rate holds, the US may be looking at 60,000-80,000 Americans dying instead of the 100,000-200,000 the last projection based on the last rate had projected.  I believe that shutting down New York City...  Let me type that again.  SHUTTING DOWN NEW YORK CITY had an effect on the spread of the Virus as evidenced by the current slowing of the rate of new cases there. SOCIAL DISTANCING IS WORKING. New York City's St. Patrick's Day Parade was cancelled all the way back on March 17th.  All of these projections are based on current numbers, most of which are coming out of States that may be ahead of others when it comes to the timing of the Virus.  New York's new case rate slowing and possible Apex passing does not mean that Florida's is.  With the lack of a National Policy (outside of the 2 flyers) Governors need to be trying to get ahead of the Virus like the Governor of New York and California and Washington and New Jersey have.  I am afraid for the people in the States where they are not, especially the ones with population centers and/or tourist destinations. Testing in some areas is not where the State of New York's is, which affects the accuracy of their numbers. In general, the number of confirmed cases is assumed to be much lower than the actual number of cases, especially considering those who are assymptomatic. Not testing only makes that disparity greater.

So what do we do.  We wait. We breath. We Stay Safe. We Stay at Home. And We try to Stay Sane. Check in with family and friends.  I know I owe a few a call or video chat. Make a nice pasta, some soup, maybe chili, another meat loaf, banana bread....  Watch talented people famous and not do their thing in their living room from my living room. Watch too much TV. Write. Hang with my Wife and Play with my Beautiful little girl. And appreciate just how lucky a guy I am.

Please Stay Safe. Stay home.
David Calamoneri

And Happy Easter!

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.  

- Jesus, "The Beatitudes", Mathew 5:3-11 


Thursday, April 2, 2020

April 2, 2020

Thursday April 2, 2020 11:20pm 245,070 cases in the US 5,949 deaths
Week two of my family's self enforced voluntary isolation.

The confused calm before the storm has passed.  The Virus is not only here, but it's ramping up.  Though Washington State was the first State in the Union to get it, New York State is the first epicenter in the United States.  Louisiana, Texas, Florida, Georgia and really every other State that isn't mostly unpopulated land aren't far behind.  Governor Cuomo's daily press briefings have remained informative, calm, knowledgeable, relatable and empathetic.  His brother and CNN host Chris Cuomo has contracted the Virus. The Governor talking about him and recently about Sunday dinners with the family both really touched me this week. The president's press briefings on the other hand have only gotten worse.  The other day he trotted out an infomercial salesman that talked about the Bible.  No joke. And then on a day that 928 AMERICANS lost their lives to the Virus, the white house "coronavirus task force" was talking about drug cartels.  928 American deaths in one day, and the one day totals are rising.  

Over the last two weeks, my friends and I have had virtual drinks and laughs on Zoom.  Everywhere you scrolled on social (now more than ever) media you'd see music being played live by local and famous musicians. Jeff Tweedy from his bathtub.  DIY videos from Paul Simon, Trey, Brian May. Paul Stanley. Willie Nelson and his Sons, Joan Baez.  Funny videos with Sam Jackson reading a children's book called "Stay the Fuck at Home" and some crazy dude at a piano singing a song of the same name. I put a video up of a song I wrote about my baby girlas part of a virtual singer songwriter night that the Latest Noise put on. The beaches in Florida were still open. The churches there still are. But as the numbers of cases and deaths start to rise faster, I expect that's about to change.  Well maybe not the churches in Florida.  I don't expect the Facetiming with the Grandparents and friends will stop, but it may get harder to laugh over the next month.

My anger has grown when it comes to anyone that ever played down the severity of the Virus or still do. The numbers who still do have grown quieter. Even some of the most trump loving governors have now called for residents to stay at home statewide.  But these "orders" are all still voluntary.  There are no police enforcing it anywhere. Facebook comment fights, more yelling at the tv.  My poor wife can't even have the news on without me almost flipping a table at the willful ignorance, negligence and misinformation on display daily.  Reports of US sending PPE that would protect US to China and elsewhere in Asia.  Thousands of ventilators delivered and unable to be used because routine maintenance was not done on them due to budget cuts.  Reports of States that support the president getting what they need and those who don't getting questioned from Our Rose Garden while their residents die.  The president of the United States:  "I don't believe you need 40,000 or 30,000 ventilators."  Masks are "going out the back door" at some hospitals.  Even typing those lines I almost broke my keyboard.

Home life has been interesting. Distracting myself with the baby, cooking and working from home. My wife's teaching from home now, which only adds to the new normal we are trying to figure out. It is a blessing to get this time with my family.  I just wish we could go to the park or have friends or family over to visit or could GO OUT OF THE APARTMENT.  My "over-reacting" has only been reinforced by the latest numbers and developments with the Virus, specifically in the US and specifically in my area.  There are currently 841 cases and 21 Deaths in Jersey City. 152 cases and 2 Deaths in the mile square of Hoboken.  51,809 cases and 1,397 Deaths in New York City. 25,590 cases and 537 Deaths total in the State of NJ. I went out for groceries again this past weekend.  We tried to go online for a food delivery, but it sold out everywhere we looked and workers at Amazon, Instacart and Whole Foods have started to strike.  I don't want to cross picket lines.  I guess if I have to feed my family I will. Grocery shopping actually wasn't so bad.  The streets are quiet.  The pictures of empty streets at rush hour in NYC are beyond haunting. My wife gets out for a walk and some exercise most days.  Both of us don gloves and a mask which we leave in the hallway with our shoes on the way back in and it's straight to the shower.  My 8 month year old daughter has not left the apartment since March 20th.  There have been very sweet moments, sad moments, tense moments and moments of manic laughter.  It's tight in our "big" three bedroom apartment, especially when you are in it pretty much 24/7 for days and weeks on end.  But we are healthy and we have screens that we can "connect" through. Not to mention Curb Your Enthusiasm, Top Chef, SVU, Shark Tank, and Sesame Street.

No one knows when we will be passed this "wave".  Governor Cuomo recently said that the APEX won't be in NYC until the end of April. Who knows how long it will be after that before we can find the next new normal.  The Virus is everywhere now. Cousins have contracted it. Friends have contracted it. Celebrated musicians, doctors, scientists have contracted it and have died from it.  News of people whose records I listen to or TV shows I watch pop up on my "feed".  And it is still the beginning of this very rough moment in American History.  A moment that would not have been so rough if people heeded the warnings of scientists who spend their careers studying and tracking viruses.  Both citizens who refused to stop going to the bars, restaurants or beaches as if it couldn't happen to them or Us and elected officials who wholly lack any foresight, who deny scientists, who deny facts that don't fit their narrative. The numbers we see now, a low estimate considering we still lack adequate testing, are people who may have had it for a week.  How many people and surfaces did they touch, cough sneeze on before they were counted.  Senator Rand Paul got tested and before receiving the results went to the Senate gym?!

The weekend is just about here and with it will be more unbelievable daily death totals.  My fear of what's to come is taking over for my outrage.  I will continue to distract with my family, writing and another pot of soup and/or big bowl of pasta.  Maybe we'll work some music in there too.

Stay Safe.  Stay Home.  Love.
David Calamoneri

Thursday, March 26, 2020

No outside In

Thursday, March 26, 2020 One week in SELF induced immediate family isolation
4:30 pm United States 79,785 cases 1,124 deaths. up from 69,210 cases and 1,046 deaths at 10 am today

I marked my one week inside the apartment with a walk outside.  There were some items that needed to go to the Central Avenue post office and I thought we could use the outside comfort food of subs from Andrea's on Central.

When I leave the doorway of our building, for more than throwing the garbage and recycling to the curb, I wear blue rubber gloves and a N95 mask, that I bought a month ago at City Paint Hardware.  It's important to not touch your face even with the rubber gloves on.  The gloves keep your hands from coming into contact with surfaces, but the virus may have been picked up from the surface by the glove.  I wear the mask for two reasons. 1. I am not convinced that we know enough about the Virus being airborne, especially indoors, and that they say you may have it and not have any symptoms, so for all I know I have it and a mask prevents me from spreading it to others.  In the end, I would rather look a little silly to some and "overreact" and reduce my chances of getting or spreading the Virus. Risk-Reward. 

Before I get to the door, I grab my jacket and boots, which have both been left in the hallway since March 19th. I put them on when I am going to go outside and take them off before I enter the apartment. I lean and brush up against surfaces with my jacket and if someone sneezes or coughs the virus onto the sidewalk, how long does it survive on that surface?  Can it be picked up by the bottom of my shoe  and tracked onto the carpet that my eight month old crawls on.  Again Risk- Reward.  I'd rather overreact and do everything I can possibly can to keep the Virus out.

When I return, I take my boots and jacket off and place my goods on a table in the hall.  I go inside wash my hands and get a wipe.  I wipe both doorknobs on the apartment door, on my way to wipe the goods I brought home.  Leaving the bags they came in in the hallway to throw away the next garbage night.  Sorry, but even this most anti single user is going to err on the side of not bringing this Virus into my apartment. 

It was nice to be in the air and feel the sun today, but I would rather stay inside.  I'm too nervous about the cavalier attitudes of other people concerning the Virus.  I don't think we know everything about the Virus yet. And we live in a very densely population place.  Telling everyone to "go for a walk" in a place where there is 50,000 people per square mile seems incongruous with social distancing to say the least.

Stay Safe.  Stay Home.
David Calamoneri

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

March 24, 2020 7:00pm EST
53,263 cases 696 Deaths

Most if not all stay at home "orders" are still voluntary. The tone seems to be changing a bit.  Even Gov. Cuomo sounded even more urgent this morning.  People were still out and about on Sunday.  Social media, at least me and my bubble,  is still full of posts about food, Facebook Live music, videos, kids stuff, and anger towards the president and his happy talk and nonsense pressers.  

11:09pm March 22, 2020 The president of the United States tweets:"WE CANNOT LET THE CURE BE WORSE THAN THE PROBLEM ITSELF." ?!?!?!  He's talking about economics (see money) and people are Dying and the curve on that dying is a J on the up swing, the rate of that dying is quickening.  The virus is spreading quicker. And he wants people to go back to work, because of the economy.  The crash of this viral wave will be huge.  But right now the Priority are the lives of the American people! 

The virus is HERE.  Until we get at least to the crest of this wave, we need that to be the focus.  Make manufacturing companies make what We need.  Don't worry they'll get paid. Ready and start to deploy every doctor we can, Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, National Guard, Coast Guard, Veterans Affairs. Army Corps, on facilities.  

It seems to be starting, but slowly and hopefully not too late.  When I look at The Map, I think the United States isn't comparable to Italy, or Spain, or United Kingdom. It's comparable to All of Europe. Or maybe China, but their clamp down was Far Far more strict and in no way voluntary.  

The United States Population is 331,000,000 people.  I hear scientists and others say 40% of the population will get it.  132,400,000 people.  If the death rate is 2% (it is currently 1.3% in the US) That's 2,648,000 (1,721,200) people in the United States.

David Calamoneri

Saturday, March 21, 2020

Working from Home

March 21, 2020

It has been a week of voluntary self-quarantine for my wife, 8 month old and myself due to the warnings and requests of career epidemiologists and virologists, some public officials, watching the map,  and reading reports out of China, South Korea and All over Europe pertaining to COVID-19 (“the Virus”).  I left the apartment for groceries at ACME in Jersey City “over by Best Buy” and St. Joseph’s Zeppoles from Giorgio’s on March 19th.  Before that, I had gone grocery shopping at Stop and Shop, a few blocks from home, on Friday the 13th.  We were in Lo-Fi on March 12 and ordered corned beef from Carpe Diem on St. Paddy’s. Outside of that, all contact has been through FaceTime, Zoom, and Microsoft Tables. Along with an uptick in live social media.

It’s eerily beautiful outside.  Not too hot.  Not too cool.  Yet I worried for a second to even open the windows.  I did.  I’m one of the "over reactors".  I figure if you are too precautious what’s the worst that can happen?  You make yourself, and your family an friends, a little more nuts for a couple of weeks.  It’s a scary time though to be sure.  I wore a mask and gloves and was Super conconcious every thing I touched my last two grocery shopping trips.  On the 19th we actually wiped the load of groceries down, piece by piece, before bringing them into the apartemt, leaving the paper bags in the hall.  The NIH says the Virus may live in aerosols for up to three hours, up to four hours on copper, up to 24 hours on cardboard and up to two to three days on plastic and stainless steel.


This was my first week ever “working from home”.  I’ve had pretty much the same desk job for 20 or so years.  Remote Access took a few days to work itself out. My computer at work is a slow PC and through the remote app it’s even s…l…o…..w…e…r. Residents calls getting forwarded to my phone is a kind of weird thing.  As long as they don’t get my number, I guess I’ll just have to deal with the after hours and weekend calls.  There is still confusion.  Understandably, working from home isn’t everybody’s immediate priority.  Some employees are more tech savvy than others.  Some have different home lives.  I think there are a lot of people still trying to keep some semblance of normal.  There is a lot of unnerving tension literally in the air.  As of today Hoboken has 15 confirmed cases of COVID-!9 virus.  We live in Jersey City, which has 50 confirmed cases. 

The virus is said to have started in Wuhan, China at a “wet market”.  A “wet market” is a much less than FDA approved market complete with on premises butchering of wild and exotic animals. Many coronaviruses have been found in bat blood and guano. Bats are butchered in Wuhan wet markets. COVID -19is a coronavirus.

China didn’t report the virus to the World Health Organization (“WHO”) until the end of December 2019, but it is said that Wuhan had it as far back as Mid-November. The First case in the United States was in Snohomish County, Washington in January of 2020. The president described the situationon  Jan. 22: “We have it totally under control. It’s one person coming in from China.”

My wife has been on family medical (”parental”) leave for the school year so far, but will start teaching, see working, from home, starting April 1. Unless they stop the “work from home” portion of “stay at home” or at least the School from Home potion.  We are lucky our child isn’t of school age.  Working and “Teaching” from home simultaneously is a lot.  It is very different even doing the work I have been able to do from home, with our 8 month old crawling, trying to stand and letting us know she’s hungry.  Not sure what it will be like if my wife is teaching from home at the same time.  And in the tension and uncertainty of EVERYTHING right now….        

We will see.

We will see what the Virus brings.  We watch NY Governor Cuomo give his press conference every day around 11:00 am.  Governor Cuomo has been particularly good over the week.  Straight forward, calm, empathetic and relatable. He seems to know what is coming and how under prepared we currently are.  I am done watching the president’s press conferences.  I try to catch Dr. Fauci when I can on TV and the internet.  And by the reports coming out from the surge in testing in NYC, we are going to need more beds, doctors, ventilators, masks, gloves, sanitizers, nurses, bio-hazard staffing…  Stay Safe. Stay Home.  Maybe I’ll see you on Facebook Live, Instagram, Zoom, Microsoft Tables, Google Hangouts.... Not sure which apocalyptic tin foil hat ping is louder, the fascist feel of actual “lock downs’, or our reality and social interactions becoming even more virtual.  My buddy Kuz is right.  A screening of Terry Gilliam’s “Brazil” would be a good idea.  But not until after the Virus, as the president putt it “washes through” sometime in the future.

As of  4:30pm 3/20/20 there were 24,148  COVID cases in the US and 285 Deaths.

Stay Safe.  Stay Home.
David Calamoneri

May 21, 2020

Why am I so pissed and what the fuck can I do about it? (What a difference a couple of days make.) Im not sure what is pissing me off more...