My attitude has somewhat changed...

Easter Sunday. April 12th 1:15pm. Start of Week 4 of voluntary family quarantine.
532,339 cases of the coronavirus, Covid-19 in the United States of America.  21,418 Deaths.  2,074 American Deaths were reported on Friday April 10th alone 783 Deaths of those occurred in the State of New York.

My attitude has somewhat changed to an eery calm.  

Over the past week or so I've kind of separated a bit from the obsessive following of the staggering daily numbers or the anger that iT's voice brings out, as the salesman in chief sells his snake oil cures and belches his public endangering happy talk.....  Breath in for 4.... Hold for 7....... Exhale for 8........  Instead I find myself grateful. Grateful for having a job that I can work from home, and Most grateful for the time I get to spend with my wife and baby.

I've been cooking a lot.  Taking pictures of everything, especially the baby (standing, eating, crawling, smiling, making a face....). I started to work on some video. Been Zooming, FaceTiming and Facebook living with family and friends.  The Zoom has been having security problems.  Virtual meetings are getting "porn bombed".  Crazy.  Beastiality popping up at Board meetings.  It'd be funny if it weren't so sad. How long will we be in this weird virtual reality?  I guess that's it.  It feels like waiting.  Somehow I feel less anxious now that the "apex" for our area may be here.  I would think I would be more anxious being we may be currently in the worst of it.  251 deaths in the State of New Jersey on April 20th alone.  783 in the State of New York on the same day. But the news of the rate of new cases going down gives me almost a feeling of a light at the end of the tunnel.  

If the current projection based on the current rate holds, the US may be looking at 60,000-80,000 Americans dying instead of the 100,000-200,000 the last projection based on the last rate had projected.  I believe that shutting down New York City...  Let me type that again.  SHUTTING DOWN NEW YORK CITY had an effect on the spread of the Virus as evidenced by the current slowing of the rate of new cases there. SOCIAL DISTANCING IS WORKING. New York City's St. Patrick's Day Parade was cancelled all the way back on March 17th.  All of these projections are based on current numbers, most of which are coming out of States that may be ahead of others when it comes to the timing of the Virus.  New York's new case rate slowing and possible Apex passing does not mean that Florida's is.  With the lack of a National Policy (outside of the 2 flyers) Governors need to be trying to get ahead of the Virus like the Governor of New York and California and Washington and New Jersey have.  I am afraid for the people in the States where they are not, especially the ones with population centers and/or tourist destinations. Testing in some areas is not where the State of New York's is, which affects the accuracy of their numbers. In general, the number of confirmed cases is assumed to be much lower than the actual number of cases, especially considering those who are assymptomatic. Not testing only makes that disparity greater.

So what do we do.  We wait. We breath. We Stay Safe. We Stay at Home. And We try to Stay Sane. Check in with family and friends.  I know I owe a few a call or video chat. Make a nice pasta, some soup, maybe chili, another meat loaf, banana bread....  Watch talented people famous and not do their thing in their living room from my living room. Watch too much TV. Write. Hang with my Wife and Play with my Beautiful little girl. And appreciate just how lucky a guy I am.

Please Stay Safe. Stay home.

David Calamoneri

And Happy Easter!

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.  

- Jesus, "The Beatitudes", Mathew 5:3-11 

April 2, 2020

Thursday April 2, 2020 11:20pm 245,070 cases in the US 5,949 deaths

Week two of my family's self enforced voluntary isolation.

The confused calm before the storm has passed.  The Virus is not only here, but it's ramping up.  Though Washington State was the first State in the Union to get it, New York State is the first epicenter in the United States.  Louisiana, Texas, Florida, Georgia and really every other State that isn't mostly unpopulated land aren't far behind.  Governor Cuomo's daily press briefings have remained informative, calm, knowledgeable, relatable and empathetic.  His brother and CNN host Chris Cuomo has contracted the Virus. The Governor talking about him and recently about Sunday dinners with the family both really touched me this week. The president's press briefings on the other hand have only gotten worse.  The other day he trotted out an infomercial salesman that talked about the Bible.  No joke. And then on a day that 928 AMERICANS lost their lives to the Virus, the white house "coronavirus task force" was talking about drug cartels.  928 American deaths in one day, and the one day totals are rising.  

Over the last two weeks, my friends and I have had virtual drinks and laughs on Zoom.  Everywhere you scrolled on social (now more than ever) media you'd see music being played live by local and famous musicians. Jeff Tweedy from his bathtub.  DIY videos from Paul Simon, Trey, Brian May. Paul Stanley. Willie Nelson and his Sons, Joan Baez.  Funny videos with Sam Jackson reading a children's book called "Stay the Fuck at Home" and some crazy dude at a piano singing a song of the same name. I put a video up of a song I wrote about my baby girlas part of a virtual singer songwriter night that the Latest Noise put on. The beaches in Florida were still open. The churches there still are. But as the numbers of cases and deaths start to rise faster, I expect that's about to change.  Well maybe not the churches in Florida.  I don't expect the Facetiming with the Grandparents and friends will stop, but it may get harder to laugh over the next month.

My anger has grown when it comes to anyone that ever played down the severity of the Virus or still do. The numbers who still do have grown quieter. Even some of the most trump loving governors have now called for residents to stay at home statewide.  But these "orders" are all still voluntary.  There are no police enforcing it anywhere. Facebook comment fights, more yelling at the tv.  My poor wife can't even have the news on without me almost flipping a table at the willful ignorance, negligence and misinformation on display daily.  Reports of US sending PPE that would protect US to China and elsewhere in Asia.  Thousands of ventilators delivered and unable to be used because routine maintenance was not done on them due to budget cuts.  Reports of States that support the president getting what they need and those who don't getting questioned from Our Rose Garden while their residents die.  The president of the United States:  "I don't believe you need 40,000 or 30,000 ventilators."  Masks are "going out the back door" at some hospitals.  Even typing those lines I almost broke my keyboard.

Home life has been interesting. Distracting myself with the baby, cooking and working from home. My wife's teaching from home now, which only adds to the new normal we are trying to figure out. It is a blessing to get this time with my family.  I just wish we could go to the park or have friends or family over to visit or could GO OUT OF THE APARTMENT.  My "over-reacting" has only been reinforced by the latest numbers and developments with the Virus, specifically in the US and specifically in my area.  There are currently 841 cases and 21 Deaths in Jersey City. 152 cases and 2 Deaths in the mile square of Hoboken.  51,809 cases and 1,397 Deaths in New York City. 25,590 cases and 537 Deaths total in the State of NJ. I went out for groceries again this past weekend.  We tried to go online for a food delivery, but it sold out everywhere we looked and workers at Amazon, Instacart and Whole Foods have started to strike.  I don't want to cross picket lines.  I guess if I have to feed my family I will. Grocery shopping actually wasn't so bad.  The streets are quiet.  The pictures of empty streets at rush hour in NYC are beyond haunting. My wife gets out for a walk and some exercise most days.  Both of us don gloves and a mask which we leave in the hallway with our shoes on the way back in and it's straight to the shower.  My 8 month year old daughter has not left the apartment since March 20th.  There have been very sweet moments, sad moments, tense moments and moments of manic laughter.  It's tight in our "big" three bedroom apartment, especially when you are in it pretty much 24/7 for days and weeks on end.  But we are healthy and we have screens that we can "connect" through. Not to mention Curb Your Enthusiasm, Top Chef, SVU, Shark Tank, and Sesame Street.

No one knows when we will be passed this "wave".  Governor Cuomo recently said that the APEX won't be in NYC until the end of April. Who knows how long it will be after that before we can find the next new normal.  The Virus is everywhere now. Cousins have contracted it. Friends have contracted it. Celebrated musicians, doctors, scientists have contracted it and have died from it.  News of people whose records I listen to or TV shows I watch pop up on my "feed".  And it is still the beginning of this very rough moment in American History.  A moment that would not have been so rough if people heeded the warnings of scientists who spend their careers studying and tracking viruses.  Both citizens who refused to stop going to the bars, restaurants or beaches as if it couldn't happen to them or Us and elected officials who wholly lack any foresight, who deny scientists, who deny facts that don't fit their narrative. The numbers we see now, a low estimate considering we still lack adequate testing, are people who may have had it for a week.  How many people and surfaces did they touch, cough sneeze on before they were counted.  Senator Rand Paul got tested and before receiving the results went to the Senate gym?!

The weekend is just about here and with it will be more unbelievable daily death totals.  My fear of what's to come is taking over for my outrage.  I will continue to distract with my family, writing and another pot of soup and/or big bowl of pasta.  Maybe we'll work some music in there too.

Stay Safe.  Stay Home.  Love.
David Calamoneri